8 Things Only Recruiters Will Understand

The recruitment industry can be an extremely unpredictable beast. It can provide highs. It can provide lows.

For people outside of the industry it can be hard to explain. But there are certain things that only recruiters will understand. We’ve run through some of them here.

Impossible roles

You know the type. It’s a great role. For someone with 5+ years of experience in moon-based marine biology (don’t ask where that came from). Where on earth do you find a candidate for such a role? You have two options; get the magic wand out or alternatively adopt the foetal position and cry. Preferably in the corner.

Disappearing acts

It’s all gone swimmingly. The candidate seems perfect for the role. The role seems perfect for the candidate. You sell them in to the client. They’re keen. Winner. Only now you can’t get hold of the candidate for love nor money. Where have they gone? After multiple calls and voicemail messages, you have to face facts. It’s time to move on, unfortunately.

Counter offers

Ahh counter offers. The scourge of the recruitment industry. The candidate has sailed through the interview process, delivered a pitch perfect presentation, been offered the role and handed in their notice. Only for their employer to turn around with an irresistible offer. They take it. You know they shouldn’t, but they do. Back to the drawing board.

Or even worse – manufactured counter offers

If counter offers are the devil, then manufacturing counter offers with no intention of taking a job are the devils older, more evil brother. The candidate may not openly admit that this was always their intention, but you know...

Lies, lies, lies

Embellishing details on CVs. We all know it’s common practice. But telling a prospective employer that you went to Eaton, have ten years experience at the age of 22 and conveniently forgetting to mention the criminal conviction, is only going to land you in deeper water. Lies unravel all too easily. It’s a good job recruiters have developed internal lie detectors, eh.

Social Footprint

What did recruiters do before the days of LinkedIn? Get the phone book out? So 1999.

Some people overshare on social networks. That’s a fact. So it’s all the more depressing when you check a candidates LinkedIn profile only to see their profile picture is an absolute car crash. And you know your client is going to check it too…time for a phone call.

No shows

The ultimate let down. Interviews organised, client prepped, candidate likewise. All set. But then they don’t turn up. No explanation, no call, no contact. How could this happen?! I think it’s time to go and make yourself a large coffee. Maybe add some whiskey.

CV overload

Drowning in a pool of (largely unsuitable) CVs. Ah the joys. Mind numbingly sifting through to separate the wheat from the chaff. But it’s all worth it to find the gem at the bottom of the pile. The shining beacon of light that will eventually fill the role.

Let’s just hope they turn up, don’t lie, have a perfect social media history and aren’t manufacturing a counter offer.

Piece of cake.